Merry-Go-Round

It feels like my life seems to operate through cyclical phases – the inspired and dreamy, the motivated and productive, and then the doldrums. Reading through my posts from earlier in the year, it would seem I’m right on track for these occurance of these doldrums I have recently found myself to have fallen into.

Earlier in the year, I was so hopeful for the farm stuff, and then the house. But the garden was planted late and hastily, the animals were bypassed, and it seems we only frequent the farm once a week at best. The house has somewhat consumed us. It’s still exciting, but contributes it’s fair share to the mundane aspects of life with it’s ever present chores. The weekdays are monopolized by work, and this fact seems to always set the tone of the weeknights, which is not always favorable. Weekends go to fast, as always. Then rinse and repeat.

Every morning I’m saddened driving to work, because I realize these beautiful summer mornings I’m driving through will give way to beautiful summer days that a majority of I will miss. I am grateful to have a job and a roof over my head, but I long for the long, slow childhood summers, when time was not so elusive. Now there’s always another to-do list, then feeling guilty when things don’t get done, then feeling guilty about not slowing down and simply experiencing. In short, it’s a very uninspiring merry-go-round I feel trapped on right now. I try to remain hopeful that the inspiration and motivation has not gone too far and returns to me in a timely manner.

D and I spent a night down near the cities for a friend’s wedding this past weekend. It was only a few hours away, and nothing terribly new, but a little road trip and just getting out of town for a while was suprisingly refreshing. We stopped in Alexandria and hit a few antique stores on the way back, walked around their downtown a little, which is actually fairly charming. Just being able to take in the pretty summer scenery and to feel the sun through the windows while relaxing with a book in the car had it’s positive effects. You never quite realize how dark your cave is until you attempt to emerge from it…

We also stopped by the garden on our way back in. Not a whole lot of vegetables yet, with the exception of a few ginormous zuchinni, but most are going to flower and should be along in no time. Our raspberries aren’t really productive yet, but we’ve found a few surprises. It’s tricky to get to them before the wilds do.

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